


Trying Hard to Control My Heart

by SharetheMoon



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-09 15:27:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1147615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharetheMoon/pseuds/SharetheMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ali meets Ashlyn for the first time and it isn't long until they've grown close...very close.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ashlyn was standing at baggage claim waiting for her flight number to appear on the reader board. Another flight's luggage was making its way around the carousel. Across the carousel Ashlyn saw a beautiful girl who had just taken her long, brunette hair out of a ponytail and had tossed her head side to side so that her hair cascaded over her shoulders. Ashlyn wanted a closer look.

She wandered around to the girl's side of the carousel and watched from a safe distance. The girl was wearing a fuchsia-colored V-neck t-shirt and her purse was the same color. As Ashlyn gave her the full once-over, she noted that at the bottom of her very muscular calves, the girl's Converse shoes were the same fuchsia color. She spotted a suitcase coming near the girl that had a hot pink ribbon tied to the handle. It had to belong to the girl facing it. A smile formed on Ashlyn's lips as an idea sprang to mind. She nimbly swooped in, said a hurried "excuse me", reached across the girl's body and grabbed the bag with the ribbon on it. The girl turned to face Ashlyn with a worried expression and said, "Wait! I think that's my bag."

They were standing in very close proximity, so the girl didn't even really make eye contact when she spoke to Ashlyn. Once she took a step back she had an immediate physiological reaction to seeing Ashlyn. She felt a burning in her cheeks and a quickening of her heartbeat. The girl took a moment longer to notice Ashlyn in her black sweatpants, grey Nike tank top and her snapback worn backwards. Ashlyn smiled and the girl flashed a wide smile back.

"Are you sure? I've got one just like it," Ashlyn lied.

"Yeah," the girl stammered. "Check the tag."

Ashlyn flipped the ID tag over and read the girl's name: Alexandra Krieger. Virginia.

"Well, Alexandra from Virginia," Ashlyn said as she handed the bag over. "Welcome to LA."

“It’s Ali,” she said as she took her bag and smiled at Ashlyn. "Thanks...? "

“Ashlyn. From Florida." Ashlyn smiled back revealing the dimple on the left side of her face.

"Thanks, Ashlyn…from Florida." And with Ali turned and walked toward the terminal exit as Ashlyn watched her go.

Gazing out the window of the taxi, Ali thought about the unexpected reaction she had to meeting Ashlyn. It was unmistakably attraction. She’d recognized it as such, but had never quite experienced anything like it so instantaneously with anyone else – not with a guy and most especially not with a girl. It surprised her and, while she couldn’t explain it, she decided not to dwell on it.

_____________________________

That evening, Ali walked into the hotel conference room for the first team meeting. This wasn’t her first national team camp, but it was her first at the senior level. She knew her roommate, Megan, from the U19 and U23 teams, as well as a few of the other girls from previous teams and camps. Still, she’d been playing in Germany for the past few years and couldn’t help feeling a little out of place. She took a seat near the back of the room next to Megan.

They were early for the meeting and Ali was checking her phone when she heard a familiar voice. She looked up to see the girl from baggage claim greeting others on the team. Ali noticed how touchy Ashlyn was with the girls - giving them hugs, sometimes a kiss on the cheek, fist bumps. She seemed so comfortable that Ali never would have guessed that it was Ashlyn's first call up to the senior camp, too.

Ashlyn soon spotted Ali in the back. She was clearly surprised and pleasantly so judging from the smile on her face. She was soon standing in front of Ali. "Hey,Virginia! What are you doing here?" Ashlyn asked.

 "Same thing you are, Florida." Ali replied with a grin.

"You guys know each other?" Megan inquired.

"We met at the airport." Ali explained. "She tried to steal my bag."

Before Ashlyn could defend herself, the meeting convened.

After Pia and the other coaches reviewed their expectations and hopes for camp, the team was assigned a team-building exercise called “the knot.” They had to form a circle and reach across the circle to grab the hand of someone else in the circle. They did this with both hands. The object of the exercise was to maneuver so that the group regained its original circle shape without anyone breaking contact with the hands they were holding.

It started out a little rough. They were making the knot even more tangled than it was to begin with. Eventually, as they began to communicate and help one another, they slowly began to untangle themselves. Ali was holding hands with Whitney and Heather. Ashlyn was holding Megan’s hand with her right and Jill’s hand with her left. At one point, Ali and Ashlyn came face to face as they were tugged on either side of them by their teammates. Megan dipped under the joined hands of Ali and Whitney, pulling Ashlyn behind her who became trapped when Megan stood up. The move had pushed Ashlyn right into Ali so that their bodies were pressed tightly against each another. Ashlyn was a little bit taller than Ali so her cheek rested against the top of Ali’s head. They were so close that Ali could feel the rise and fall of Ashlyn’s chest against her and her body erupted in goose bumps at the contact. Ashlyn could feel the warmth of Ali’s breath against her neck and it made her warm all over. The contact only lasted a minute before the team figured out how to untangle the two.

____________________________

Once the meeting concluded, Ali didn’t notice Ashlyn following her out of the conference room and into the hallway. Ashlyn came up behind her, poked both of Ali’s sides with her index fingers and said a little too loudly, “Hey!” Ali jumped and whipped around to find a smiling Ashlyn.

“God! You scared me!” Ali said, hoping it would explain the blush creeping up from her neck to her cheeks.

“Sorry. Hey, they’ve got hot chocolate in the lobby. Want some?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ali replied.

Once they had gotten their cocoa, they moved to the oversized couch in the lobby.

“So, tell me something about yourself," Ashlyn said.

 “Well, let's see...I've been playing in Germany for the past three years,” Ali offered.

“Yeah? How'd that happen?” Ashlyn asked.

“I played at Penn State before that,” explained Ali. “I knew I wanted to keep playing after graduating. I was with the U23 team at the Nordic Cup and someone from FCFrankfurt had seen me play. Things just kind of happened from there.”

 “Do you speak German?” Ashlyn asked.

“I do now, but it was actually really hard in the beginning. I’ve taken classes there for a couple of years, which has really helped.”

Ashlyn replied, “I only know one word in German: Gezundheit!”

“I actually have a funny story about that word," Ali said with a shy smile. Ashlyn set her drink down on the coffee table, pulled her legs up on the couch so she was sitting criss-cross and turned to face Ali as she began her story.

"I'd been in Frankfurt for about six weeks and I was sooo homesick. My German sucked; it was raining every day; and I had a bad cold. Well, one day I was on my way home from German class and I was crossing the street to get to my apartment. There was a traffic cop in the intersection directing traffic. I sneezed just as I passed him. He looked at me and said, "gezundheit!" Well, I totally burst into tears, gave the cop a huge hug and said, "Thank you! That's the first English I've heard since I've been here!" It wasn't until I got home that I remembered that "gezundheit" wasn't English!"

Ashlyn let out a loud laugh which made Ali laugh too. "Oh, my God!” Ashlyn finally replied after containing her laughter. "That is HA-larious!" _And adorable._ “What a dork!”

“Hey!” Ali feigned being offended. “Okay, you're turn. Tell me something about you.”

Ashlyn thought about it for a second. "Okay, I’ve got a good one."

Ali drew her knees up toward her chest and crossed her arms so that they rested on her knees. She settled in for the story.

"I've been playing with the YNT since I was 14. Well, when I was with the U19 team and we were playing in Japan. US Soccer thought it would be a great idea to have us stay with host families for a couple of days. My host family picked me and Whit up and drove us to their house. The drive was so long, though, and I drank two bottles of water so I really had to pee. As soon as we put our bags down, I rushed to the bathroom while Whit went with the family to the kitchen where we were going to have tea. After going to the bathroom, I turned to flush the toilet but I couldn't find the handle. It was one of those fancy, Japanese electronic toilets with all the buttons and stuff. I couldn't read any of the labels because they were in Japanese. I was kind of panicking because Whit and the family were out there waiting for me and because it was embarrassing that I'd been in there so long. Well, I was standing over the toilet when I saw a small lever that I pushed down thinking it was the flusher."

Ashlyn paused and gave a pointed look to Ali. "It wasn't the flusher."

“What was it?” Ali asked, not able to control the smile creeping onto her lips.

"Well, as soon as I pushed it, a bar swung out from the side of the toilet and across the bowl and it started spraying water up in the air like a frickin' fountain!” Ashlyn was flailing her arms and reenacting the scene for Ali. “My whole shirt got sprayed with water until I found out how to shut the damn thing off."

Ali was cracking up imagining Ashlyn trapped in the bathroom. Ashlyn continued.

"The worst part was that the bathroom was just off the kitchen, so I couldn't get out of there without everyone seeing me. I ended up running down the hallway to our room to change my shirt."

"Oh, and _I’m_ the dork?” Ali teased and continued to giggle. Ashlyn could only laugh in response.

The conversation had totally put Ali at ease...at camp and with Ashlyn. She was amazed at how easy it was to talk with her. She’d almost forgotten how their first and second encounter had made her feel. Almost.


	2. Chapter 2

Ashlyn was known for being a flirt, but she never hit on her teammates – never. It was her number one rule. She was so determined to make a good impression on her coaches and earn her place on the team that she didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize her chances. Besides, she’d seen other teammates get involved before and it didn’t work out in the end which put a strain on the entire team. She wasn’t going to let that happen. The fact that Ali was gorgeous and kind and quickly working her way into Ashlyn’s heart wasn’t helping her sense of resolve one bit.

When Ali wasn’t spending time with Ashlyn, she was thinking about her. It scared her actually. A new friendship was always exciting, but this was something different. There was such an ease she felt in being with Ashlyn - like she could really be herself around her. Yet, when Ashlyn hugged her or touched her, or when they got close, her stomach did flip-flops. She was so attracted to Ashlyn and she was struggling to reconcile both how right and wrong it felt at the same time.

Both Ashlyn and Ali found the intensity of senior camp a little hard to adjust to that first week. The tackles were harder; the speed of play faster; and the workouts more exhausting. They shared that common bond, and their bond grew deeper the more time they spent together. They found themselves seeking each other out at meal times and on the field, and they spent as much of their down time together as they could.

Ali had learned a lot about Ashlyn in their short time they'd known each other: that she was close to her brother; that she almost didn’t graduate from high school; that she cheated at UNO; and that she had a propensity to sneak up and scare Ali at least once a day. This last realization came to play at the end of the first week of camp after a particularly grueling early morning training session. Ali’s legs felt like Jell-O, so she headed to the indoor pool to recover.

Ashlyn had stayed behind for some extra work with Coach Paul. She didn’t find Ali in the locker room and some of the girls said they thought she’d gone to the pool. Ashlyn soon stood at the glass windows to the pool room watching Ali slowly and deliberately swimming laps in the pool. A mischievous thought overcame Ashlyn and she was giddy with anticipation. She stealthily made her way to the side of the pool opposite of where Ali was swimming. She didn’t plan to get in the water, but she thought scaring Ali would be more effective from under water. She would later chalk it up to too many episodes of Shark Week.

She removed her shirt so that she was wearing only her sports bra and soccer shorts, and then slipped silently into the water. She lowered her body under the water leaving only her head exposed and inched her way closer to Ali who was swimming the crawl stroke with her head facing away from Ashlyn. Just as Ali passed, Ashlyn dove under the water and swam up behind Ali and grabbed her around the middle.  Immediately, Ali broke through the surface of the water sputtering and coughing as she did so. 

  
“Jesus, Ash! What the hell!” Ashlyn could see that Ali was pissed, but she couldn’t stop laughing.

“You should have seen the look on your face!” Ashlyn replied.

“You’ve got serious problems!  You know that right?” Ali asked.

Ashlyn just continued to laugh at her, so Ali started to splash her which forced Ashlyn to turn and swim back across the pool. Ali followed and quickly caught up to Ashlyn, grabbing her around the waist just as she was about to lift herself out of the pool. Ali used her body to pin her up against the side of the pool. She kept her left hand on Ashlyn’s abdomen and used her free right hand to splash Ashlyn who squirmed and wiggled to get free. She finally turned herself around and was able to grab Ali’s wrists to stop the splashing.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” Ashlyn surrendered.

They were both laughing and breathless. Ali’s mood suddenly shifted when she realized how close they were. She felt a shot of arousal through her body as she noticed  the contour of Ashlyn’s breasts through her wet bra. Ashlyn’s stomach knotted as she followed Ali’s gaze from her chest to her hands that were still holding Ali’s wrists, and then to her eyes. For a moment they just stared at each other. It took everything in Ashlyn to resist kissing Ali in that moment. She slowly released Ali’s wrists.

“Peace?” Ashlyn whispered.

“Peace,” Ali agreed, breaking the tension and swimming backward toward the other side of the pool.

 ________________________

“Hey, what are you doing this afternoon?” Ali asked Ashlyn once they’d  toweled off.

“Not sure yet,” she answered.

“A bunch of us – me, Megan, Lori, Abby and some others are going out to lunch and then to the beach,” Ali said. “Wanna come with?”

“Yeeeesssss! I miss me some beach time.”

“Great! We’re meeting in our room at 12:30.”

“Cool, see you then.”

 _______________________

 Ashlyn knocked on Ali’s door right on time. Megan opened it and welcomed Ashlyn inside. She was surprised to see everyone already there. Lori, Whitney and Heather were sitting on Ali’s bed facing Megan’s bed on which sat Abby and Tobin.  Everyone was staring at Ashlyn and not saying a word.  Tobin was shaking her head at Ashlyn with a disappointed look. Abby patted the space between her and Tobin and told Ashlyn to sit.

“What’s going on?” Ashlyn asked cautiously as she sat on the bed. These people were freaking her out!

Just then, she heard the sound of the deadbolt locking.  She turned to see both Ali and Megan walking toward her and the others. “Intervention,” Megan said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Ashlyn looked from Megan to Ali to the others who were all nodding at her with pitying looks.

“Yah, Ali’s been telling us about your obsession with scaring her,” Abby explained.

“Yep, total creeper,” Tobin added.

Ashlyn’s mouth was agape as she examined the faces of her teammates before turning to Ali. “Oh. My. God! I cannot believe you!” she exclaimed with an expression of both amusement and a hint of embarrassment.

“I told you, you have a problem.” Ali replied.

“Oh, PA-lease! I do not have a problem!” Ashlyn protested. “All those times – well almost all those times – were accidents!”

“The first step is admitting you have a problem, Ash,” Lori interjected.

Now playing into it, Ashlyn said, “I could totally stop if I wanted to.”

“Sure you could,” said Whit throwing a pillow at Ashlyn. “Like you stopped it in the pool today?”

To Ali she asked, “You told them that?!” She turned to everyone and said, “It was a joke.  I was just having fun.”

“Just admit you’ve got a problem, dude, so we can get out of here and hit the beach” said Tobin.

Ashlyn looked around at everyone again. None of them were letting her off easy.  “Fine!” she said exasperatedly. “I have a problem. Now let’s eat.”

“Nope, you gotta say it the right way: ‘Hello, my name is Ashlyn. I’m a creeper.” Abby teased.

“No fucking way!” Ashlyn protested as she lunged at Abby with the pillow she was still holding and pushed her back on the bed. Whitney, Tobin and Megan jumped on top of Ashlyn, rolling her off Abby and pinning her to the bed.

“Saaaayyyyy it!” Abby demanded.

Ashlyn struggled some more, but couldn’t break the girls’ grip. Ali leaned over the group and grinned ear-to-ear. “I think you should say it,” she prompted.

“God!” Ashlyn tilted her head to the side, looked away from Ali and mumbled with just a hint of a grin,” HellomynameisAshlyn.I’macreeper.”

Immediately the girls erupted in laughter and released her. Megan patted Ashlyn on the back and said with a smirk, “Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.”

Everyone had started to file out the door to head to lunch. “You are soooo dead, Pinoe!” Ashlyn warned.

“Awww, you love me and you know it,” Megan replied.

"Yeah, but I’d love you better dead right now,” said Ashlyn.  She then turned her attention to Ali who was beaming, obviously very pleased with herself. “And you!!!” Ashlyn said with a look that indicated she could attack at any moment. Ali squealed and ran out the door before Ashlyn could catch her.


	3. Chapter 3

The team had the afternoon off the day before camp concluded. A bunch of the girls were going to see the taping of  _Community_ at Paramount Studios. Ashlyn convinced Ali to go to the beach with her instead. They spent the better part of the first hour meandering in and out of the upscale boutiques and small specialty stores near the pier. Ashlyn's favorite was a shop with a generous selection of silly hats. She and Ali took turns trying them on: Ashlyn in the Viking helmet replete with blonde braids; Ali in a hat the shape of a giant beer stein; Ashlyn in the block of cheese hat; and Ali in a hat that made it look like she had a Mohawk. At one point, Ashlyn put on a crab hat with the eyes bobbing on springs that looked like antennae and chased Ali around the shop pretending her hands were crab pincers. Ashlyn couldn't help hamming it up around Ali. She liked making her laugh because it always produced that beautiful smile of hers that made Ashlyn's heart flutter. 

Next they stopped for ice cream at The Creamery before making their way to the beach where they removed their shoes and walked along the shore until eventually stopping at the unoccupied lifeguard station at the north end of the beach. Ashlyn sat on the railing and let her legs dangle over the edge. She took a deep breath, savoring the smell of the sea and the warmth of the sun. "God, I miss the beach!" 

Ali didn't say anything. She was standing next to Ashlyn with her forearms resting on the railing and her eyes closed as she soaked up the sun. 

Ashlyn continued. "Our house is just a block from the beach, so I go there almost every day when I'm home. That's where I learned to surf." 

"My family used to rent a cottage at Virginia Beach for a few weeks every summer." Ali said. "The last time we went was right before my parents told us they were getting a divorce." 

"I'm sorry," Ashlyn said sympathetically. She hadn't known about Ali's parents. "How old were you?" 

"Eleven," Ali replied flatly. 

"Did it take you a longtime to get over it?" asked Ashlyn. 

Ali turned to Ashlyn with a look of surprise. "Get over it?" she asked. "I'm still not completely over it. I mean, I'm fine now and my parents are still friends, but I don't think I'll ever get over it. It was like a death...the death of our family, or rather the death of our family as I'd dreamed it." 

"That must have been really hard." 

"It was. I think it's why my brother and I are so close. We depended on each other, ya know?" 

"Yeah, actually I do." Ashlyn said. "My brother and I really counted on each other, too. My mom was "absent" a lot when I was young, so...." 

That word "absent" caught Ali's attention. "What do you mean?" she asked. 

"Well, she's struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. She was there physically, but she really wasn't available emotionally a lot of the time. Her long "absences" were really confusing to me. I guess the way I made sense of it was to believe that there was something wrong with ME." 

Ashlyn suddenly felt a little exposed at having revealed so much and looked over to gauge Ali's reaction. Ali offered a sympathetic smile which gave Ashlyn the confidence to continue. "It started in me a kind of endless striving to keep my mom's gaze. Like if I could just be funny enough or smart enough or helpful enough...or just enough. Period. Then maybe she'd come back to us." 

They sat there quietly for a few minutes staring out at the ocean before them. Ashlyn broke the silence. "I don't think I've ever said that out loud before...the not feeling like I was enough part." 

Ali slipped her arm around Ashlyn's waist and gave her a squeeze. "Thank you for trusting me enough to share it." She paused before saying, "I know I haven't known you that long, but from what I can see, you're more than enough, Ash." 

Ashlyn didn't tell Ali, but it was one of the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to her. It made her want to believe it. 

_______________ 

They returned to the hotel about an hour before team dinner. HAO was just leaving their room as the girls arrived. 

"Hey, you guys. I'm gonna go crush Barney at ping pong. Wanna watch?" Heather asked.  

"Nah, I think I'm gonna take a shower," Ashlyn replied. 

"How about you, Kriegs?" 

"Um, I'm pretty beat. I think I'll just relax here." 

"Okay, I'll catch you guys later!" 

Ali didn't really ask if she could hang out in Ashlyn's room, but she followed the keeper inside anyway. 

"I'm just gonna take a quick shower, okay?" Ashlyn asked. 

"Yeah, I'll just watch TV here if that's okay with you." Ashlyn nodded and then grabbed some clean clothes before heading to the bathroom.  

Instead of watching TV, Ali checked her phone and exchanged a few texts with her brother. About 15 minutes later, Ashlyn emerged from the bathroom and saw Ali looking at photos on her phone. She sat down next to her. 

"Are those from today?" Ashlyn asked taking the phone from Ali. 

"Yep." 

They sat shoulder to shoulder as Ashlyn scrolled through the pictures: the two of them in crazy hats; both of them at the pier; Ali's selfie at the beach. When Ashlyn got to that picture, Ali tried to grab the phone away because she knew that was the end of the photos from their day together...also because she didn't want Ashlyn to see the other pictures she had on there. Ashlyn held the phone out of Ali's reach. 

"Come on, Ash, give it." 

"I'm not done yet." 

"There aren't any more from today," Ali said trying to grab the phone back. 

Ashlyn flipped over on her stomach and started to scroll through photos again while at the same time struggling to keep Ali away. Ali straddled Ashlyn from behind and reached over her shoulder to get the phone. That's when Ashlyn stopped struggling. She was staring at the photo in front of her. It was a photo of Ashlyn talking with Jill on the sideline at practice. She scrolled to the next one - a side photo of her at movie night in Becky's room. There were a few more and Ashlyn quietly scrolled through them. Ali was mortified. She'd taken the pictures without Ashlyn knowing it. She was sure Ashlyn would be wierded out, or worse yet, discover Ali's crush on her. 

Ashlyn turned over onto her back and Ali swung her leg off of her so that she was kneeling on the bed next to Ashlyn. Ali was so embarrassed that she couldn't even make eye contact with her. Ashlyn switched the phone from album to camera function, turned it around and handed it to Ali. "If you wanted a picture of me, you just had to ask," she said with the sweetest smile. Ali took the phone, still a little uncertain, and looked down at Ashlyn -hands behind her head, hair framing her face, dimple. "Okay, 1...2...3." 

That night in bed, Ali couldn't sleep. Her thoughts drifted to Ashlyn and the wonderful day they'd shared. She remembered how good it felt when Ashlyn trusted her enough to share something so personal. She blushed in the dark to think of Ashlyn discovering the photos she'd secretly taken of her. Ali grabbed her phone from the nightstand and opened up her photos again stopping at the last one Ashlyn had let her take. Her finger traced the dimple in the photo for a moment before she propped the phone up against the other pillow on the bed so she could still see it while lying down. Ali slipped one hand and then the other under her shirt and began to caress her breasts, imagining they were Ashlyn's hands instead. She gently pinching her nipples which ignited a fiery warmth between her legs. Ali then slid the tips of her fingers down her sides with feather-like lightness before rubbing her palms over her thighs and eventually between them. She could feel the warmth emanating from her core, but delayed contact a little longer. Next turned her head to look at the picture of Ashlyn still illuminated on her phone as she brought one hand back up to work her breasts while the other slipped below her underwear and down to her wet and waiting center. She began making slow circles, steadily building a rhythm. Just like in the photo, Ali imagined Ashlyn lying on her back and her touching Ashlyn the way she was touching herself now. That image was getting her there pretty quickly. Still rubbing increasingly fervent circles with one hand, she brought her other hand down and inserted a finger inside her. That did it. The image of being with Ashlyn in this way, both of her hands working her furiously, was enough to send her over the edge. 


	4. Chapter 4

Camp ended and it wasn’t even an hour before Ali texted Ashlyn from the airport.

**_Ali: “Hey! So glad we met. Alvedezane!”_ **

**_Ash: “Me too. Gezundheit!”_ **

**_Ali: “Haha._ ** **_Ich werde dich vermissen.”_ **

**_Ash: “Gezundheit.”_ **

**_Ali: “It means ‘I’ll miss you.’”_ **

**_Ash: “Me too. Bet we’ll see each other at Jan. camp.”_ **

**_Ali: “Hope so!”_ **

That’s how it began. They would spend the next six months getting to know each other by text, phone, email, another camp and by Skype. Sometimes they‘d talk about deep things, but a lot of the time they’d share with one another the thousands of little things about themselves that had helped them grow close. Without even realizing it, Ashlyn and Ali had become best friends.

Because of the time difference, Ashlyn always made sure she was home each night by 11 so she could talk with Ali when it was morning in Germany. Her friends teased her about it, saying it was like she was in a relationship with Ali. She didn’t really know what she and Ali were. She knew whatever it was wasn’t normal - she didn’t act like that with any of her other friends. But then Ali wasn’t like any of her other friends. If she was honest, Ashlyn would admit to being attracted to Ali and wanting more than a friendship with her. She had since the first day they met. But, they were best friends and she didn’t want to do anything to mess that up. Besides, Ali liked guys and Ashlyn told herself she didn't have a chance with her. One Skype conversation in particular sure made her wonder, though.

Ali: “Can I ask you a question?  _H_ _ow_ did you know you were gay?”

Ash: “I think I knew from a young age, even if I didn’t know what to name it.”

Ali: “Were you ever attracted to guys?”

Ash: “Attracted to them? Well, I was a tomboy and I was always playing with Chris and his friends, so it was really easy to be around guys. I was never attracted to them, though, not in a physical way.”

Ali: “Hmmm. Do you think someone can be straight and then suddenly not be?”

Ash:  “I don’t know, but I think anyone can love anyone." 

Ali considered Ashlyn's words for a moment.

Ash: "How did you know you were straight?"

Ali: "I've just always known."

Ash: "Have you ever been attracted to girls?"

Ali: "Um..." She hesitated.

Ash: "Oooo, tell me!" Ali began to blush.

Ali: "Just one girl. She's gay, but I never told her I liked her." Hearing Ali's admission made Ashlyn hope for the first time, if even just a little, for a chance one day with Ali.

Ash: "Hey, why all the questions anyway?"

Ali: “Just curious, I guess.” Ali looked at the time and suddenly said, “Hey, I’m going to be “late” for training. I gotta run!”

"Stop! Hold it right there," Ashlyn said while putting her hand up so that her palm faced Ali.

"What?"

"Okay, I didn't want to say anything, but it's been going on for a while and I think it's time that someone held you accountable." Ashlyn replied.

"What are you talking about? "Ali asked with a look of complete confusion.

"Well, I don't know if you know this about yourself, but you have a habit of being pretty reckless with your use of air quotes." Ashlyn smirked.

"You're joking." Ali answered in disbelief.

"I never joke about proper grammar," said Ashlyn. "Seriously, I don't think you know how the whole air quote thing is supposed to work."

"How did I use them?" asked Ali.

"You said, ‘I’m gonna be "late.’” You'd only use air quotes if "late" had another meaning.  You’re talking about actually being late, right?" Ashlyn asked.

"Right."

"So, you’d be late, not "late," explained Ashlyn.

"I get it. And you couldn't just let it slide?" teased Ali.

"I've got principles, you know." Ashlyn said with a mocck air of superiority.

"I guess I'll have to add that to my list of flaws," Ali chuckled.

"Well, it's your only flaw, so I think you're good." Ashlyn said. "That and the fact that it takes you like 20 minutes to floss your teeth. Air quotes and excessive flossing.  Those are your only two flaws."

"Thanks a lot." Ali chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"You’re welcome," Ashlyn said and paused before continuing. "And mumbling."

"Shut. Up!" Ali said in mock anger.

“I’m sorry, what?” Ashlyn joked while she cupped her ear with her hand.

Ali opened her mouth to make some kind of comeback, but she could only laugh at Ashlyn and herself.

______________________

At the next senior camp, Ashlyn and Ali were assigned to be roommates. The first night, they sat together on Ali’s bed to watch a movie. The travel and time distance caught up with them in a hurry and it wasn’t long before they were sound asleep. Ashlyn awoke in the middle of the night to find Ali laying on her side with her arm draped across Ashlyn’s abdomen. She gingerly extracted herself from Ali’s grip and got up to change into shorts and a t-shirt. She shut out the lights and climbed back into bed with Ali, pulling the covers over them. Ali turned over and unconsciously spooned back into Ashlyn. They spent the rest of that first week snuggling and sleeping together in Ali’s bed and using Ashlyn’s bed for their suitcases and clothing. 

On Sunday evening that week, Ali and Ashlyn went to a bar near their hotel to watch the Redskins game.

“How about that guy?” Ashlyn asked while motioning to a dark-haired guy at the bar.

Ali knew what Ashlyn was doing.  It’s what she always did when they were out together. She felt the need to be Ali’s wingman, scoping out guys for her. Ali knew it was Ashlyn’s way of being a good friend, but it was bugging her. She didn’t want to find another guy.  She wanted Ashlyn.

Ali looked over her shoulder toward the guy at the bar and asked nonchalantly, “What about him?”

“He’s cute.” Ashlyn said.

“ _You_ think he’s cute?” Ali knew better.

“Well, he’s not ugly.” Ashlyn replied.

“Why don’t you go talk to him then?” Ali responded.

“No, not for me. For you.” Ashlyn said.

Ali furrowed her brow, scrunched her nose, and shook her head indicating her disapproval of Ashlyn’s choice. “Not my type.”

“Oh, pa – lease!” Ashlyn argued. “He looks exactly like your ex-boyfriend.”

“Yeah, the operative word being EX,” Ali said. “Besides, maybe I have more than one type.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s your other type?” Ashlyn asked with genuine curiosity.

“Oh, I don’t know…tall, muscular, blonde hair, green eyes, killer smile…” Ali had basically just described Ashlyn, but she knew Ashlyn had missed it because of her friend’s response.

“Okay…oh, like that guy?”  Ashlyn asked while pointing at a long-haired, blonde guy probably in his 50’s who was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and sandals with socks. Ali looked, rolled her eye, and let out a heavy sigh. Ashlyn cracked herself up so much that she actually snorted while laughing at her own comment. 

Ali’s irritation was growing. She excused herself to the bathroom in hopes that the break would end the conversation. When she returned to the table, Ashlyn was throwing her head back to catch in her mouth the nut she'd just tossed in the air. She didn’t notice that Ali had grabbed the nut out of the air before it reached Ashlyn’s open mouth. Ali sat and was amused to see Ashlyn searching the area around her chair for the nut.

“Hey… how about that guy over there…at the end?” Ashlyn urged.

Ali was mad now even though she knew she didn’t have a right to be. She hadn’t exactly made her feelings for Ashlyn obvious. She crossed her arms across her chest and glared at Ashlyn and refused to look at the person Ashlyn had selected.

“Als?”

“Knock it off!” Ali snaps. 

Ashlyn knew she’d upset Ali, but she couldn’t understand why. Ali’s sharpness seemed uncalled for. “Jeez...just trying to help a friend out.” Ashlyn answered defensively.

“I’m not interested in meeting anyone, okay!?”

“That’s the thing - you never are!” Ashlyn countered.

“Well, neither are you!” How come you’re not seeing someone?”

Ashlyn didn’t reply right away and she avoided making eye contact with Ali. She was looking down at her hands. When she finally did look up, it was with the look of a puppy with its tail between its legs. That’s when Ali began to feel the wheels fall off.  “Ash?” she asked plaintively.

“I was going to tell you,” Ashlyn said quietly, finally meeting Ali’s gaze.

Ali had always worn her feelings on her sleeve and being inauthentic just wasn’t in her. The news of Ashlyn dating hit her like a punch to the gut. She swallowed hard in an effort to push down the hurt she was feeling.

“You’re seeing someone?” Ali asked as evenly as she could, but she already knew the answer.

Ashlyn only nodded in reply.

“How long?”

“Not long..a couple of months We've only been out like five times.” Ashlyn confessed.

“A couple of months?!”  Ali was incredulous and hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to, but I just…I don’t know. I was just worried about telling you,” Ashlyn said.

Ali forced a smile and said, “We’re best friends. You can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah, I know, but the whole time we’ve known each other there hasn’t been anyone else – for either of us.” Ash explained. “I just worried that maybe it would change something between us.”

“Why would it change something between us?” Ali said with an obvious edge in her tone. "It’s not like _we’re_ dating.”

Her statement caught Ashlyn off guard. She studied Ali’s face for a moment. The tension between them was growing and it felt like they were teetering on the edge of something dangerous. She cautiously considered her reply. “No, it’s not like we’re dating, Ali. We’ve just spent so much time together and we’ve gotten so close. I just didn’t want you to feel left out or like I was abandoning you.”

“HA!” Ali laughed sharply. She’s not the jealous type, but jealousy is exactly what she felt.

“Okay, I guess I was wrong,” said Ashlyn. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking about your feelings.”

“Yeah, well don’t you worry about me. I think it’s great you’re seeing someone,” Ali lied.

“You do?” Ashlyn questioned.

“Yeah, I do. I want you to be happy.” Ali said, but her eyes betrayed her. The first part was a lie, but she meant it when she said she wants Ashlyn to be happy...just not with someone else.

Ashlyn could tell Ali upset, which was exactly whey she’d avoided telling her in the first place. “Thanks,” Ashlyn said at last. An uncomfortable silence fell between them.

“We’ve got early training tomorrow,” Ali reminded Ashlyn. “We should probably head back.”

They didn’t speak at all on the walk back to the hotel. When they stepped off the elevator, Ashlyn remembered that Megan had borrowed her laptop earlier to Skype with her girlfriend. She told Ali she was going to Megan’s room to retrieve it.

Forty-five minutes later Ashlyn returned to their room to find Ali already in bed with the lights out. She quietly grabbed some pajamas and went to the bathroom to change. When she came back into the room, she walked over to Ali’s bed, the bed they’d slept together in for the past week, and whispered, “Ali.” No response. “Als?” Nothing. Ashlyn then cleared their things off of her own bed and slipped under the covers. She lay awake for more than an hour replaying their conversation from the bar. _Why was Ali so upset about her seeing someone? Why had Ashlyn been so afraid to tell her?_ She determined to talk to Ali about it in the morning – to make things right between them.


	5. Chapter 5

One of the things Ashlyn loved about Ali was her smile.  Not just the fact that it made Ali look even more beautiful, but also for the way it made her feel. Whenever Ashlyn walked into a room and met Ali's gaze, Ali simply lit up and it made Ashlyn feel like she was the reason Ali had such joy. Sometimes Ashlyn worked extra hard to make Ali grin, but the longer they'd known each other, the easier it became...like Ashlyn's mere existence was enough to set Ali's face aglow. 

It had been two days since Ali had smiled at her and Ashlyn missed it. Since their conversation at the bar in which Ashlyn revealed that she was seeing someone, things had been strained between them. Ali sat with other teammates at meal times and found other small ways of avoiding Ashlyn, like declining her invitations to play during their free time or asking others to join them so she wouldn't have to talk to her. Ashlyn longed for the closeness she and Ali usually shared. So, she continued to make attempts to connect with Ali.

After the team's training session, Ashlyn jogged over to where Ali was sitting on the grass doing stretches. She plopped down next to her. "Missed you at breakfast this morning," Ashlyn said in as chipper a voice as she could muster.

Ali turned to look at Ashlyn, but instead of replying she forced a weak smile by turning up just the corners of her mouth before looking away.

"Ali, are you mad at me or something?"

Ali kept looking straight ahead and let out a sigh before replying, "I'm not mad."

"Then what's going on?" Ashlyn asked. "I feel like you're so far away...like you've been avoiding me."

Ali was struggling with how to explain herself...how to tell Ashlyn why she felt so hurt. After a minute of silence, she explained, "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Is this about Britt?"

_So that was her name._ Ali took a swig of water, trying to swallow the bitterness she felt. At last she nodded.

"I should have told you." Ashlyn said. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't like it...when you told me you were seeing her," Ali confessed.

"I know and I said I was sorry. I promise I won't keep anything from you again."

"I didn't like it," Ali repeated while shaking her head.

The statement was ambiguous enough that Ashlyn couldn't be sure of whether Ali didn't like that she'd withheld it from her or if she didn't like that Ashlyn was dating.  "Are you jealous?" Ashlyn held her breath as she awaited the answer.

Ali's shoulders slumped and she dropped her head. "I hate to admit it, but...yeah, I kind of am."

Ashlyn was afraid to ask Ali what she wasn't saying.  _She's jealous as a friend? Or...no, she doesn't like me like that. Wait, does she? No, stupid, snap out of it! She's not into you that way._  

"Believe me when I tell you that no one could ever replace you, Ali," Ashlyn said as she locked her in a two-armed side hug. "You're my bestie!"

Ashlyn jumped to her feet and said, "Let me make it up to you!" We've got all day Friday off. We can spend the whole day together. What do you say?"

Ali's smile was slowly returning, but she looked like she still needed convincing. "You can choose what we do during the day and then I'll take you out that night. Oh, we can go dancing!" Ashlyn then started doing the running man, the sprinkler, and the white man's overbite dances in rapid succession. Ali couldn't fight the smile building inside her as she watched her spastic friend make a fool of herself. 

_There it is. There's that smile._ Ashlyn reached out her hand for Ali and pulled her to her feet. She enveloped her in a big bear hug. "Are we good?" Ashlyn asked.

"Yeah, we're good." Ali assured.

__________________________________

"I think I have a problem," Ali admitted to Megan as they rode the hotel elevator.

"What kind of problem?" Megan asked.

"Do you promise not to tell anyone?" Megan criss-crossed her heart to indicate Ali could confide in her. 

She struggled to get it out before hurriedly saying, "I like Ashlyn." She hid her face with her hands.

"I know," said Megan casually.

Ali jerked her head up in surprise. "No, I _liiiiike_ her-like her," explained Ali.

"Yeah, I know," Megan countered with an expression that basically said "duh."

"You know?"

"I had a hunch. You guys are inseparable."

"Oh." The two exited the elevator and stood in the hallway.

"So, what's the problem," asked Megan.

"She doesn't know I like her. I'm afraid that she doesn't feel the same way and that if I tell her, then she won't want to be my friend anymore."

Megan considered that for a moment. "Ali, you should know better than anyone that Ashlyn is as loyal as they come. Whether she shares your feelings or not, there's no way she'd let it come between your friendship."

"I don't know..."

"You should tell her," Megan encouraged.

"I know. Thanks, Pinoe," Ali sighed and gave Megan a hug before they went to their separate rooms. She was relieved to be able to talk to someone about it. She decided to find a way to tell Ashlyn about her feelings or at least make those feelings more obvious.

_______________________________

After dinner that night, the girls headed back to their room. Ashlyn went directly to the bathroom to brush her teeth. When she came out, Ali was sitting on her bed just about to paint her toe nails. Ashlyn sat on the edge of the bed and took the nail polish from Ali without saying a word. She pulled one of Ali's legs onto her lap and took over the nail painting. Ali leaned back on her elbows and watched Ashlyn, smiling at the way she always stuck her tongue out a little when she was concentrating.

Ashlyn could feel the weight of Ali's stare. "Whatcha looking at?"

"Nothing," said Ali. "You're cute when you stick your tongue out like that."

"Don't you mean cute-er," Ashlyn smirked, flashed that dimply smile and winked at Ali.

"Okay, "cute-er" Ali said using air quotes.

Ashlyn looked at her sternly. "Ali..."

"Sorry, just cuter," she said sheepishly.

"Better," Ashlyn said absentmindedly as she focused intently on painting Ali's pinky toe. "What about my dimple?"

"What about it?"

"Most people think it's pretty cute, too."

"They're right. It's the first thing I noticed about you," Ali admitted. "I've never seen anyone with just one dimple, though."

"Yeah, it's pretty rare I guess. My grandma says God gave it to me because He loves me more," Ashlyn explained. She lifted Ali's foot to her mouth and blew gently on her toes to quicken the drying process. It gave Ali feelings. Ashlyn then pulled Ali's other foot into her lap and resumed polishing.

"What's the first thing you noticed about me?" Ali asked.

"Honestly? Your legs."

"Really?" Ali was surprised.

"Um, have you not seen them?" Ashlyn asked with raised eyebrows. Ali crinkled her nose and smiled.

"I noticed your smile, though, right after that," Ashlyn said. She looked up from Ali's feet to her face. "You have a really beautiful smile."

"When you tried to steal my bag at the airport, I thought you were hitting on me," Ali confessed.

"I was!" Ashlyn laughed. "You were in such a hurry to get out of there, though."

"I knew it!" Ali grinned.

Ashlyn blew on Ali's other foot and then put the brush back into the polish jar and set it on the nightstand. Ali excused herself to wash her face and brush her teeth. Ashlyn watched her as she waddled on her heals to the bathroom. She knew Ali would be a while if flossing was involved.

When Ali returned, Ashlyn was on Ali's bed watching TV. She was laying on her stomach: chin resting in her hands and legs crossed at the ankles. Ali sat on her side of the bed and after a while noticed that Ashlyn kept rolling her neck and grabbing her shoulders.

"Are you sore?" Ali asked.

"Hmmm? Oh, yeah, Dawn made the keepers hit the weights so hard today."

"Here, lie down," Ali ordered as she straddled Ashlyn's waist and pressed her hands on Ashlyn's shoulders.

Ashlyn did as she was told. Ali massaged Ashlyn's shoulders, back and neck. It was all very platonic at first and Ashlyn was feeling more relaxed by the minute. At one point, though, Ali slid back so that she was sitting on the back of Ashlyn's thighs, and in one fluid movement she ran both of her hands firmly up Ashlyn's sides, up over her shoulders and down her arms which were stretched out in front of her. Ashlyn could feel Ali's body over her, hovering close, and it made her warm all over. She inadvertently let out a muffled groan.

Ali leaned further down so that her mouth was close to Ashlyn's ear. "That feel good?"

"Mmm, hmmm." Ashlyn hummed.

Ali repeated the motion a few more times. Ashlyn was starting to get turned on. _I should put a stop to this._

"I'm getting sleepy," Ashlyn said. "We should probably go to bed."

She got up, thanked Ali, and then headed for her bed.

"Where are you going?" Ali asked as she pulled back the sheets and scooted to her side of the bed.

"Yeah?" Ashlyn questioned.

Ali patted the space next to her, so Ashlyn crawled in bed next to her and turned off the light. Ali leaned back into Ashlyn so they could spoon. When Ashlyn didn't press into Ali, she reached back and pulled Ashlyn's arm around her.  Meanwhile, Ashlyn's mind was reeling with thoughts of Ali and how her touch had made her feel. _I think I have a problem._  


	6. Chapter 6

Ali woke up at the first light of dawn. She lay on her side watching Ashlyn sleep and mulled over in her mind how she would tell Ashlyn of her feelings. When she first met Ashlyn, she was afraid of what it meant to know she was attracted to a girl. Was she gay? Was she not gay? She didn’t have that all figured out yet, but that’s not the part of the situation that scared her now. Instead, it was her fear that Ashlyn wouldn't share her feelings. _What if she rejects me?_ Part of Ali felt hopeful, though, when considering the possibilities. After all, gay or straight, who doesn’t dream about being best friends with the person they’re in love with?

Ashlyn began to stir. She snuggled up close to Ali and unconsciously rubbed her foot up and down Ali’s shins. She was still in that groggy, still-not-fully-awake stage and didn’t realize what she was doing. Not that Ali was complaining. "Hi sleepy head," Ali softly said.

“Hey,” Ashlyn croaked, squinting to block the light coming through the curtains.  

“Hey, I know what we're going to do today,” said Ali eagerly.

“What?”

“Hiking!".

Ashlyn groaned into her pillow. Ali wasn’t deterred. “You said I could pick what we do during the day!”

“I know, but hiking?"

“I love hiking.”

“Look, I don’t know how things are done in Virginia, but Florida doesn’t hike.”

“Oh, come on!”

“I’m serious. There aren’t _any_ mountains in Florida. None. They're called hills. The highest point in the whole state is a tower and it’s not even 400 feet,” Ashlyn explained.

“Well we’re not _in_ Florida, are we?” Ashlyn groaned again. “Come on, it’ll be fun. I promise.”

“Fine! But if I die, I’m going to kill you.”

“Oh come on, you big baby,” said Ali as she whopped Ashlyn over the head with her pillow.

That got Ashlyn’s attention. "Oh, no you didn't!" she shouted while quickly rising to her knees. She grabbed her own pillow and hit Ali back. After exchanging several swings back and forth, Ashlyn knocked Ali’s pillow out of her hand with a forceful swing of her own. They both watched as the pillow flew through the air and landed on the floor.  Ali was defenseless. Her eyes darted around the room for anything she could use against her friend. Ashlyn let out a maniacal laugh that let Ali know she had her exactly where she wanted her. She raised her pillow over her head with both hands and was about to go in for the kill, when Ali seized her chance. She dove at Ashlyn, embracing her around the middle and dragging her to the bed.

They wrestled for a moment until Ali was lying on top of the keeper and had pinned Ashlyn's arms above her head. They were both still breathing heavily from their exertion. Ashlyn's hair was partially covering her face, so she blew outward in an attempt to move it. Ali released one of Ashlyn's hands and brushed the hair away from Ashlyn's face. It felt like everything slowed down as they looked into each other’s eyes. Without thinking, Ashlyn instinctively brought her free hand to rest on the small of Ali's back. Ashlyn watched as Ali looked down at her lips and then back up.  Suddenly aware of just how close they were and fearful that she couldn't trust herself in the situation much longer, Ashlyn said, "You cheated.”

“You started it.” Ali countered placing her index finger lightly on Ashlyn's chin.

Ashlyn's eyebrows narrowed and she gave Ali a pointed look.

"Okay, I started it," Ali giggled.

_Knock, knock, knock._

Someone was at the door. Ali reluctantly got up looked through the peep hole to see who it was. She saw Heather and Tobin and opened the door.

"Hi Kriegs! A bunch of us are going to the beach today. You guys wanna come?" asked Tobin.

"YES!" yelled Ashlyn from the bed.

"Nah, we're going hiking today. Thanks, though. Have fun!" After saying goodbye and closing the door, Ali was disappointed to see Ashlyn crossing the room toward the bathroom. The moment had been broken.

Once behind the safety of the bathroom door, Ashlyn  put her hands on the counter and stared at herself in the mirror. She was confused, but not surprised. She had been attracted to Ali the first time she'd seen her. But then they became friends and she easily gave up any physical desire she had had in the beginning. Of course, from time to time Ashlyn had wondered what it would be like to be more than friends with Ali. When that happened, she brushed those thoughts aside. Now, though, those thoughts were coming faster and more frequently, and Ashlyn was struggling to ignore them. It didn't help that since making up from their fight, Ali had been more physical than usual with her: lingering touches; pats on the bum at practice; and snuggling tight when they slept. Ashlyn was starting to believe that Ali had feelings for her, too.

_______________________________

"Caaarrry, me!" Ashlyn wined.

"We're almost there, you big baby," Ali replied.

"You said that 20 minutes ago!"

They really were almost there. At exactly the one-hour mark, they arrived at the top and were rewarded with an amazing view of Los Angeles below them. While they cooled down, Ali pulled out the lunch she'd packed for them and offered Ashlyn a sandwich. They enjoyed a comfortable silence as they ate.

After lunch, Ali stood and wandered toward the edge of the cliff to look out over the valley below. Ashlyn picked up a few acorns and hocked one at Ali's back. Ali turned to find Ashlyn whistling and looking around innocently.  A few seconds after turning back around, she felt several other small items hit her. This time, Ali whipped around and pointed two of her fingers at her own eyes and then directed the same two fingers towards Ashlyn, “Hey! I see you!” she warned.

Ashlyn couldn’t help but smile at how cute Ali looked in the moment, but Ali’s expression then grew both soft and earnest. She walked to where Ashlyn was seated and sat down in front of her. She then met Ashlyn’s gaze and said, “I do...see you.” 

It was true. Ali saw her...really saw her. She knew her and accepted Ashlyn more than anyone ever had. Ashlyn could be herself  with Ali - her whole self. 

“Oh yeah, what do you see?”

Ali reached out and took Ashlyn’s hand in both of hers and replied, “I see my best friend and her huge heart.” She was caressing Ashlyn’s knuckles with both of her thumbs and continued, “My friend who is strong, fun, smart, caring, supportive, hilarious, loyal...” Her voice trailed off as she looked down at their hands.

Ashlyn thought back to the time she told Ali about her mom's depression and how she had never felt like she was enough. She understood that she had never really felt seen. Sitting across from Ali on the mountain, Ashlyn realized that Ali gave her something she never really even knew she missed. The enormity of her feelings for Ali in that moment threatened to swallow her whole, so she covered by joking, “You mean I’m not just a pretty face?”  

Ali didn’t laugh.  She looked right into Ashlyn’s eyes with an intensity that Ashlyn hadn't seen in her before and replied, “I think you’re beautiful on so many levels.”  _This is it. Just tell her!_ "I want you to know how much you mean to me, Ash," Ali continued. "I don't know what I'd do without you in my life." _You can do this!  "_ I love you, Ash." Then Ali rocked forward, hesitated for just a second right in front of Ashlyn's face, and then kissed her softly on the cheek.  _No, tell her that you're IN love with her._

Ashlyn was sure her face would give away her feelings, so she reached over and hugged Ali. "Me, too."

 ______________________

In the hotel lobby, they ran into Jill who was on her way out to grab a Slurpee from the 7-11 across the street. It sounded to Ashlyn like just the reward she deserved after the being forced to hike.They still had a couple of hours before going out that night and Ali wanted to take a shower, so they parted ways.

Awhile later Ali walked out of the bathroom wearing only underwear and holding a towel. She bent over, letting her hair fall forward, and prepared to wrap her hair in her towel all while taking a few short steps. When she stood, she was face to face with a startled Ashlyn. She had both hands on the towel on her head. Ashlyn's eyes darted quickly from Ali's face to her bare breasts and back up to her face. Then she forcefully shut her eyes and apologetically squealed, "Sorry!"

They had changed in front of each other dozens of times, always careful not to see or show too much. This time, spurred by a surge of courage, Ali decided to make it difficult for Ashlyn not to look. She covered her chest by crossing her arms and calmly walked passed Ashlyn to get some clothes out of the drawer. Ashlyn swiveled on her heels and opened one eye to make sure Ali had covered up. She had not. "Did you get me one?" Ali asked without looking and while still rummaging through her drawers.

Ashlyn slowly opened her eyes and stared at Ali's toned figure - starting at her calves, moving to her muscular thighs, over her firm ass, and to her bare back. Ali was facing the mirror above the dresser and Ashyn stole a glance at the reflection of her still bare breasts.  _So perfect._ Ali looked up in the mirror and caught Ashlyn looking before she could quickly avert her eyes.

"I didn't know you wanted one. Sorry," Ashlyn said as she turned a deep shade of red.

Ali put on a t-shirt, walked over to Ashyn and took a sip from the straw of the drink still in her hand. 

Ashlyn was flushed and her heart was racing. "I'm gonna shower," she said quietly.

"Well, I didn't want to say anything..." Ali teased.

She grabbed a change of clothes. Once in the bathroom, Ashlyn exhaled deeply. _WHAT was that!_

___________________

A while later, Ashlyn came out of the bathroom to find Ali sitting on the bed and texting. She was wearing a short, black dress with a plunging neck line. When she saw Ashlyn, she flashed a huge smile and stood up. "Is this too much for where we're going?" Ali asked.

 _Too much? Well, there definitely couldn't be any less to that dress?_ Ashlyn's throat was suddenly dry and she couldn't quite get a word out. Instead, she motioned for Ali to turn around. Ali made one full rotation and looked to Ashlyn for approval. "It's perfect," is all Ashlyn managed to get out.

Ali is surprised when they arrived at their dinner destination: a taco truck near the beach. It was called Azul and Ashlyn had chosen it. Once they got their food and drinks, they sat at tables on the beach behind the truck which included umbrellas from which hung small, illuminated lanterns. Their conversation was easy and the mood light. They stayed until sunset. 

Next, Ashlyn led them through the narrow streets near the pier to a dance club she'd read about online. The place looked cool, but she was slightly embarrassed to discover that it was 80's night that night. If Ali was bothered by it, she didn't let on. She'd been smiling since their evening started. They staked out a table, ordered a round of drinks and then headed out to the dance floor. They danced to songs like  _Footloose, What I Like About You,_ and _We Got the Beat._  Ali continued to find ways to keep Ashlyn close - putting her hands on Ashlyn whenever she could. That and the dancing were making her sweat. Fortunately, the DJ announced that he'd be taking a 10-minute break, so Ali and Ashlyn made their way back to their table in the corner where they could cool down.

“Whew, I’m so hot,” Ali said while fanning herself.

 _You have no idea._  “You looked good out there!” said Ashlyn.

“What about you?  Getting your groove on.” At the exact moment that Ashlyn was about to bust a little robot move, Ali reached out and placed her hand on Ashlyn’s knee and gave it a light squeeze. Ali's touch sent a shot of arousal through her body and she tensed.

“You okay there, Sparky?” Ali asked with a knowing smile.

“Yep,” she lied. “I think I’m just hot from all the dancing… and I’m out of beer, woman!”

Ali offered to go get them another round. As soon as she reached the bar, a guy sidled up next to Ali and began to flirt with her. Ashlyn watched. Ali smiled and laughed at something the guy said, but she kept looking over her shoulder at Ashlyn. Ashlyn could tell Ali wasn't interested in the suitor. After putting in their order, Ali turned to Ashlyn and smiled. It took her breath away. Ali's gaze spoke to Ashlyn of love. Ali loved her. The guy continued to talk to her, but she hadn't broken eye contact with Ashlyn. Ali only saw Ashlyn. She brought her palm up toward her chin and blew Ashlyn a kiss. Ash blushed as she patted her hand over her heart. And that's when it happened. In a flash of absolute clarity, Ashlyn had a revelation: _Ali only has eyes for me._   It wasn't even 10 seconds later that Ashlyn admitted to herself that she felt the same way.  She always had.

Ali watched curiously as Ashlyn got up and walked toward the DJ who looked like he was nearing the end of his break. 

 “Hey, do you think you can play a slow song for me and my friend?” Ashlyn asked, motioning in the direction of the bar where Ali waited.

 “'That your girl?” the DJ asked.

 “I want her to be,” Ashlyn replied while rubbing the back of her neck with her hand. “Just kind of figured that out.”

 “I got just the song for you.”

When Ashlyn turned around, Ali wasn’t at the bar anymore. She was at their table sipping her drink. Ashlyn approached her as the music started. Still standing, she took a long swig of her fresh beer and then extended her hand to Ali. Ali didn't hesitate to take it and followed her out to the dance floor.

Ashlyn pulled Ali in close and placed her right hand on the small of her back. She reached down with her left hand for Ali’s right and held it close to her chest. Ali let her free hand rest on the back of Ashlyn’s right shoulder. The song the DJ had chosen was Madonna's _Crazy for You_.

_Trying hard to control my heart_   
_I walk over to where you are_   
_Eye to eye we need no words at all_

Ali moved her arms so they were around Ashlyn’s neck and gave her a tight hug. “I've had a great time tonight,” she whispered. Her breath was hot on Ashlyn's neck and caused goose bumps to erupt all over her body. She responded by slipping both of her arms around Ali’s waist and holding the hug. They loosened their grip a little, but they stayed that way and swayed to the music - cheek to cheek and pressed together.

  
_Slowly now we begin to move_   
_Every breath I'm deeper into you_   
_Soon we two are standing still in time_   
_If you read my mind, you'll see_

  
_I'm crazy for you_   
_Touch me once and you'll know it's true_   
_I never wanted anyone like this_   
_It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss_   
_I'm crazy for you, crazy for you_

Ali could feel Ashlyn's shallow breathing against her cheek and was sure she was feeling the same rush of heat Ali was. She lightly caressed the back of Ashlyn's neck which elicited a welcome response. Ashlyn's hands wandered lower until they were cupping Ali's ass and pulling her more tightly against Ashlyn.

The song ended and _Love_ Shack by the B-52's began blaring from the speakers. It took both Ashlyn and Ali a few minutes to realize their dance was over. They pulled apart and Ali noticed how Ashlyn wouldn't look her in the eye. 

  
"Do you want to get out of here?” Ali asked. Ashlyn merely nodded.

The evening air felt cool against their heated bodies. Their hands brush against each other and Ali slipped her hand into Ashlyn's, lacing their fingers together. They were silent on the walk back to the hotel, but both of them knew things between them were about to change.


	7. Chapter 7

Ashlyn slid the card key into the lock and opened the door to their room. They had left the bathroom light on earlier and it now cast it's dim glow across the room. When Ali said she was going to get ready for bed, it made Ashlyn's stomach knot. She sat at the end of her bed and flopped backward. Staring at the ceiling in the dark, she tried to calm her racing heart. They had definitely shared a moment back at the club and Ali had held her hand all the way back to the hotel. Her fear and anticipation of what might happen next was palpable.

Several minutes later, Ali emerged from the bathroom wearing a pair of little, black shorts and a white, snug-fitting tank top. Ashlyn sat up and leaned forward so that her forearms rested on her knees. Her body tingled as Ali dragged her hand along the top of her shoulder while she rounded the corner of the bed and came to a stop in front of Ashlyn.

 "Ash."

Ali got no response. She placed both of her hands on Ashlyn's head, brushing them through her hair. Ashlyn hadn't made eye contact with Ali since they'd left the club.

"Ash?"

Ashlyn placed her hands on the back of Ali's legs just above her knees and squeezed gently. She leaned farther forward and rested her head against Ali's stomach. She then slid her hands farther up the back of Ali's legs towards her rear and squeezed more firmly. The air was heavy and Ali could tell something was holding Ashlyn back. Of course something was. It was a big moment for them and both were acutely aware of the risk they were taking in going any further. Everything - their entire, precious, wonderful friendship - was at stake. 

"Hey. Talk to me."

Ali still didn't get a reply, so she tried to lift Ashlyn's chin, but Ash shook her head back and forth and refused to look up. Ali began to doubt herself. Had she read the situation wrong? She then placed her hands on Ashlyn's knees and knelt down in front of her. Ashlyn's legs parted farther so Ali could occupy the space between them.

"What is it?" she pleaded. "You can tell me."

Ali's soft tone encouraged Ashlyn, so she looked up at last and stared into Ali's big, brown eyes.

"I know I said I wouldn't, but...I've been keeping something from you," Ashlyn confessed.

Ali froze and imagined the worst. _It's about Britt. They're more serious than she let on. She doesn't want this._  Ali tried to maintain her composure and steeled herself for Ashlyn's explanation.

"Tell me," Ali said.

Ashlyn locked eyes with Ali again. They then traveled to Ali's lips and back up to her eyes. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she reached out and gently grabbed the back of Ali's neck with one hand and slowly pulled her within inches of her face. "This," she whispered and leaned with a kiss. It was warm and sensual, and Ali was kissing her back. Ashlyn pulled back after a moment. She needed to make sure Ali was okay. Ali smiled widely, slid her hands along Ashlyn's thighs toward her hips, and inched closer. "I've been hiding something, too," she said and then placed several light kisses on Ashlyn's lips, tugging gently on her bottom lip before kissing her more deeply. Spurred on by Ashlyn's tongue meeting her own, Ali dragged her fingers under the hem of her shirt and up Ashlyn's sides.

Needing air and wanting to slow things down a bit, Ashlyn broke their kiss and pulled Ali to her feet. Ali immediately began unbuttoning Ashyn's shirt while placing hot kisses along her jaw, down her neck and on her collar bone. When she reached the last button, Ali returned to Ashlyn's lips. Placing her hands just above Ashlyn's breasts and reaching inside the collar of her shirt, Ali slipped the shirt off of Ashlyn's shoulders. It fell to the ground without a sound.  _So much for slow._ Ashlyn hadn't expected Ali to be so comfortable for her first time with a girl. She thought there would have been more nerves and hesitation. It emboldened Ashlyn. She again put her hand up to Ali's neck, her thumb resting just behind her ear, and kissed Ali passionately. With her other hand, she began rubbing and squeezing Ali's breasts over her tank top. She needed to feel flesh, so Ashlyn started to lift Ali's shirt. Ali lifted her arms above her and Ashlyn finished taking the top off and returned to her breasts. Ali loved the way it felt to have Ashlyn's hands on her, caressing...teasing. She wanted to get in bed, but had to take care of Ashlyn's jeans first. She unbuttoned them and slid them over Ashlyn's hips and Ashlyn shimmied out of them on her own revealing the blue boxers she wore. Ali splayed her hands across Ashlyn's toned abs and around the back of her so she could reach down inside her boxers. Ali grabbed her ass and pressed their bodies together. Ali's touch was driving Ashlyn wild. She took small steps toward the bed, taking Ali without breaking their embrace.

Ali's knees hit the back of her bed. She got onto it on her knees and returned to Ashlyn who was still standing. Ashlyn reached behind her own back to unfasten her bra and slid it off of her arms. They rested their foreheads together, both completely worked up and feeling a little breathless. Ali cupped Ashlyn's cheeks with her hands and brought her in for a kiss. This kiss was long and slow and tender. Ashlyn had kissed her fair share of girls, but she couldn't begin to explain how different it was when she and Ali kissed. She pulled back finally and they looked into one another's eyes for a long moment.

Ali had been with other guys and she wasn't nervous, but she knew she wanted Ashlyn to take control where they were concerned. She reached down for Ashlyn's hand, inviting her to lie down as Ali scooted back up the bed and lay down. Ashlyn lay next to Ali and kissed her. One of her leg's was bent at the knee and Ashlyn brought her hand to Ali's calf and up her thigh as they kissed. Leaving her mouth, Ashlyn began to slowly move down Ali's body. She kissed her jaw line down to the nape of her neck. Then Ashlyn moved to one of Ali's breasts, licking and sucking, circling with her tongue and tugging with her teeth. Ali moaned at the contact. Ashlyn moved her hand up to massage Ali's other breast. This brought Ali's hands to the back of Ashlyn's head, threading her fingers in the blonde's hair.

Ashlyn continued her journey down Ali's body by placing open-mouthed kisses under her breasts, down her ribs and across her stomach. She licked Ali's navel and Ali's moan made Ashlyn smile. When she reached Ali's shorts, she paused to look back up at Ali as if for approval. Ali's eyes were filled with lust and she simply nodded then lifted her hips off the bed as Ashlyn removed her shorts and underwear in one move. Ashlyn scooted back and began kissing up the inside of Ali's thigh. When she reached Ali's center, Ali opened her legs farther to give Ashlyn all the access she needed. Ashlyn wouldn't tease. She wanted Ali so badly.

Ashlyn felt Ali's hand on the back of her head again. It was all the encouragement she need. Ashlyn slipped her tongue in between Ali’s wetness which sent a shot through Ali. She pressed Ashlyn's head more firmly. She licked and sucked on Ali's swollen clit making her moan even louder and rock her hips against Ashlyn's face. As her tongue stokes began to quicken, Ashlyn inserted first one and then two fingers into Ali's core. The combination of sensations was too much to take. Ali tightened around Ashlyn's fingers and felt herself becoming more desperate as she felt her climax begin to peak. Ashlyn felt Ali's body tense and spasm against her fingers. She was gripping the sheets with one hand and had her other arm draped across her face. She arched her back and let out a litany of moans as she came. Once Ali's panting and moaning subsided, Ashlyn moved up Ali's body and kissed her deeply and contently.

Once recovered, Ali rolled on top of Ashlyn and kissed her while running her hand down her side, across her abs and directly into Ashlyn's boxers. Ashlyn's breath hitched as Ali began to rub steady circles over her clit. Ashlyn lifted her hips to meet Ali's hand, craving more contact. Ali then slipped her fingers lower, hovering just at her wet center before entering with two fingers. Ashlyn bucked her hips against Ali's touch which was becoming more furious. She pumped her fingers in and out, delighting in Ashlyn's response. Ashlyn came unraveled, uttering several obscenities and shuddering as she came. With her fingers still inside Ashlyn, Ali moved back up and looked at Ashlyn. She gently helped her come down and Ali couldn't help but feel overcome with emotion to see the tears pooled at the corner of Ashlyn's eyes.  

Ashlyn was aware of her reputation. She was a natural flirt and people just assumed she slept around. During college, yes, she had a few drunken encounters she still regretted and that never amounted to anything. She'd had relationships, but they had never lasted more than a few months each. And while she'd been intimate with a few girlfriends, none of those relationships could have prepared her for what she'd just shared with Ali. The honesty and tenderness in their connection moved Ashlyn in a way she hadn't expected or knew was possible.

They lay on their sides with their faces inches apart and where quiet for a long while until Ashlyn finally broke the silence.

"So, does this mean you're into girls?"

"No," replied Ali shaking her head.

Ashlyn had a sudden feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach.

Ali sensed her worry, so she quickly added, "I'm into only one girl."  Ashlyn turned her face halfway into her pillow and smiled.

 "How long have you been feeling this way?" Ashlyn asked.

"Probably since I found out you steal things," Ali smirked, referring to her luggage.

"Since we met?!" Ashlyn said with surprise. "All this time?"

"I didn't know what to make of it at first, but the more I got to know you the more couldn't help it."

Ashlyn couldn't hold back her smile and she leaned forward to kiss Ali tenderly. "I am pretty irresistible," she joked.

"What about you?"

"Let's just say...you had me at gezundheit," she giggled at how cheesy that sounded out loud. Ali didn't care.  She couldn't keep down the fullness she felt in her heart.

It had been a long day and sleep soon found them.

___________________________ 

When Ali awoke the next morning, she couldn't help but marvel at how much difference a day had made. Just 24 hours earlier, she had been watching Ashlyn sleep and was dreaming of something more between them. And she thought back to their night together and began to feel warm all over again. They had only two more days of camp and they'd have to make the most of it. She then glanced at the clock and sat straight up in bed when she realized they had a training session in 20 minutes.

"Ash, wake up!"

"Five more minutes, Mom," she murmured.

"Seriously, we've got training and we're gonna be late!"

Ashlyn propped herself on one of her elbows and sleepily looked at Ali. _God, she's adorable._ "Okay, okay, let's go," Ashlyn replied. While her words indicated one thing, her body wanted another. As naked Ali was about to get to her feet on her side of the bed, Ashlyn grabbed her with one arm around the middle and pulled her back so she was sitting on the bed. Ashlyn moved to sit directly behind her in the same position so that her front was against Ali's back. She snaked her arms around to Ali's front and fondled her breasts while pulling her hair aside to kiss her shoulder.

"No fair," Ali protested. "And no way." Ali squirmed to get free and stood a few feet from the bed. "Come on, we can't be late," Ali said. "We can come right back after, though."

Ashlyn covered her head with a pillow and groaned her disapproval.


	8. Chapter 8

If Ashlyn had managed to have a clear thought in her head the night before, she would have said something...something that would have slowed them down and made them think about what they were about to do.  All reason had vanished, of course, with Ali pressed up against her on the dance floor. She didn't regret it. Until she had kissed Ali, she hadn't acknowledged or understood the deep longing she'd had for her...a hunger she thought could be satisfied by just one kiss. Only it wasn't just one kiss. Her hunger for Ali was even greater now that she had tasted her sweetness and warmth. Ashlyn knew that they could never go back to being just friends. She wanted more. And if they hadn't been so rushed to get to training on time that morning, Ashlyn would have said something about that, too. 

While waiting for the elevator, several of their teammates joined them. This, thought Ashlyn, is something else they would have covered - how they would deal with things in front of others, especially their teammates. Once inside, the two leaned against the back wall next to each other. They listened to the other girls talk and exchanged glances with one another from time to time. Ali slyly wrapped her pinky finger around Ashlyn's and the gesture set Ashlyn's heart racing. She looked up to make sure no one saw them before squeezing Ali's finger back. Ashlyn's mental to-do list where talking with Ali was concerned was growing.

They performed like they always did at training - intensely focused. There weren't too many opportunities for distraction. Ashlyn decided to eat with the keepers at lunch as Paul wanted to continue going over what they worked on in practice, and maybe also because she wanted to avoid arousing the suspicion of her teammates.

Ali sat with Megan and other teammates at a table across the room from the goalkeepers. As they ate, Megan observed Ali carefully as she listened, or pretended to listen, to the others' conversation. Megan noticed how distracted Ali seemed and how she continually broke into a smile for no apparent reason - like she was remembering something. Ali sensed she was being watched so she looked up and found Megan eyeing her with an amused expression. Ali blushed deeply and bit her lower lip. To her credit, Megan didn't call her out, but gave a knowing nod and smile of approval. Ashlyn soon stopped at Ali's table and used the excuse of making sure Ali had a room key to let her know she was going back to the room to shower. Ali waited another five or six minutes before excusing herself.

Alone in the elevator, Ali thought about how natural it had felt to wake up next to Ashlyn - just the way she had so many times in her dreams. It was like nothing and everything had changed at once. She still had the same feeling that enveloped her when Ashlyn was around - like a cocoon of warmth and peace, but beneath all of that there was desire. She couldn't stop thinking about Ashlyn - about how she wanted to know every freckle, every curve, and every inch of her body. Knowing Ashlyn was showering made the ride up the four floors to their room feel interminable. 

Ali overheard Ashlyn singing in the shower. She quickly got out of her training gear and entered the bathroom without knocking. She peered around the shower curtain and saw that Ashlyn was washing her hair with her back to Ali.  She stepped in unnoticed, then placed her hands on Ashlyn's hips and pressed her body against her back. Ashlyn jumped in surprise, her song catching in her throat and goose bumps forming all over her body. She turned to rinse the shampoo out of her hair so she could focus on Ali.

Ali reached down to grab the bar of soap from the ledge and lathered her hands before starting to wash herself. Ashlyn stepped aside and leaned her shoulder against the shower wall. This allowed the cascade of water to skim past her other shoulder and onto Ali. They had been close in the darkness the night before, but now Ashlyn was enjoying her view in the light. Ali was gorgeous. The months they'd spent getting to know each other had revealed Ali's inner beauty - her kind-hearted, positive, giving spirit - but now Ashlyn was free to look at Ali's body without reservation and she couldn't resist her. Ashlyn reached for her hand and stepped back into the shower's flow so that they were standing face to face. Ashlyn brought her other hand up to Ali's cheek and looked into Ali's eyes. She then placed a light kiss on her forehead; then her cheek; and then her lips. She slid her tongue against Ali's lower lip before deepening their kiss.They took their time and made out for several minutes before both were getting impatient for more.

Ali backed Ashlyn up against the shower wall and dropped to her knees in front of her. Ashlyn rested her hands against the wall in anticipation of Ali's touch. She felt Ali's hands travel from her ankles up to her thighs before she felt the stroke of Ali's tongue. She lifted one leg to rest it on the ledge and to give Ali better access. It wasn't long before Ashlyn's breath became shallow.

Ashlyn was close, but she craved the feel of Ali's body. She pulled Ali to her feet, wrapping her arm around her waist and pressing against her. They were kissing again when Ashlyn felt Ali's hand between her legs. Ali's lips then traveled to Ashlyn's neck which she tilted back against the wall. Ali quickly found a rhythm and Ashlyn thrust her hips against Ali's hand to match it. She buried her face into Ali's neck and muffled Ali's name as she came.

As Ashlyn's breath returned to her, she smiled against Ali's lips and said, "I think you just earned yourself a new nickname." Ali pulled back quizzically. "Kriegrrrrrr," Ashlyn smirked.

____________

When Ali came out from the bathroom, she discovered Ashlyn standing near the window. She was looking out at two birds chasing each other from bough to bough in the tree just outside. Ali soon stood behind her, placing one hand on her hip and placing her chin on Ashlyn's shoulder. "Hey."

"Hey, you," Ashlyn replied.

They stood in silence for a moment before Ashlyn asked, "Do you think we can talk?"

Ali thought Ashlyn sounded serious - not worrisome serious, but earnest.  Ali wrapped her arms around Ashlyn's middle "Sure. About what?" she asked although she already knew.

Ashlyn turned inside Ali's embrace so that she was facing her and motioned between Ali and herself and said, "this."

"Us." Ali confirmed.

"Yeah...us." Ashlyn smiled shyly. She liked how that sounded. She moved to the chair near the window and pulled Ali onto her lap so she was sitting almost sideways across her. Ali looped one arm around Ashlyn's shoulder.

"Did I ever tell you about when I came out to my grandma?" Ashlyn asked.

Ali shook her head 'no' as she tucked a strand of Ashlyn's hair behind her ear.

"I was 17 and Chris and I were spending the weekend at her house. I always loved staying there 'cuz she'd let us eat Cocoa Puffs for breakfast and watch cartoons on Saturday...as any good grandparent should," she explained. "She was the first person I told besides Chris. I hadn't even told my parents. Anyway, we were having dinner and I basically just came right out with it and said, 'Grandma,  
I'm gay.' She didn't even miss a beat and said, 'Pass me the peas, Sweetie.' I didn't think she heard me, so I said it again. She looked at me and said, 'Honey, you know I don't care about that! I love you no matter what you are. I only care that you're you...true you.'"

"Hmmm...true you," Ali repeated.

"I couldn't have asked for better. It made me feel like it was okay to be me and to be honest," said Ashlyn. 

"That's amazing," said Ali.

 "And last night, Ali...last night was..." Ashlyn struggled to say what she really wanted. "I didn't know that was going to happen."

Ali blushed just remembering it.

"I mean, I kind of hoped it would," Ashlyn said smiling. "I was afraid to tell you, or even admit to myself, how I felt because I didn't want it ruining our friendship. And by not telling you, I was holding back some part of me without even knowing it."

Ali could feel the emotion behind Ashlyn’s words and she placed her hand on Ashlyn's.

"And now that it's happened," Ashlyn continued, "it's like that fear that held me back is gone and I want to give everything of myself."

Ali already loved Ashlyn for her authenticity - for not caring what others thought of her. Seeing her make herself so vulnerable now made Ali love her even more. "True you," Ali responded while stroking her cheek.

"Ashlyn, you're my best friend. All this time I kept thinking how can I tell you everything, except that I've loved you forever?" Ali confessed. “I've never felt this way about anyone. And I know that feeling of being your whole self because that's the way I feel when I'm with you - like I'm free. How are we not meant to be together, Ash?”

They sat embracing one another for a long while, content and hopeful, and trying not to think about the fact that they had only one more day together before camp ended and Ali returned to Germany. 


	9. Chapter 9

The last day of camp was a double day: a session in the morning and then one at night which would end with a soccer tennis competition. In between, however, the team was free to spend time however they chose. A lot of the girls took the afternoon to rest, but Ali, Ashlyn, Megan and Lori decided to head to Venice Beach. 

The boardwalk was abuzz with activity that warm afternoon: colorful street performers and artists entertaining visitors; funky shops, cafes and vendor booths offering anything and everything; and a constant stream of cyclists and roller skaters whizzing by. They stopped at Muscle Beach outdoor gym to watch hard-bodied exhibitionists doing a public workout. Maybe it was all that exercise that reminded them of how hard they'd worked at camp, but whatever it was justified their collective decision to indulge in funnel cakes offered by a boardwalk vendor.

They then made their way to Pacific Park amusement park. Lori and Megan took off almost immediately when they saw the bumper cars. That suited Ali and Ashlyn just fine. Their hours together were waning and as much as they enjoyed Lori and Megan, they wanted time to themselves.

They wandered through the game alley. They were both extremely competitive, so it turned into a contest almost immediately. Ashlyn won the first three games they tried, all of which involved throwing a ball to knock down various objects, and Ali reasoned that Ashlyn had an unfair advantage because she used her hands for a living. She was only mildly annoyed at Ashlyn's success, though, because she was the recipient of Ashlyn's hard-won prizes. Her favorite was the giant, pink foam cowboy hat with the blue star on the front that she wore for the rest of the afternoon.  A close second was the stuffed sea turtle Ashlyn got her after winning the ring toss.

They were just about to head to the rides when Ali spotted a game she knew she could win: the shooting gallery. She dragged Ashlyn behind her, almost giddy at the thought of Ashlyn losing.

"Feeling pretty confident there, Krieger?" teased Ashlyn.

Ali reached up and tipped her foam hat to Ashlyn and replied in her best Southern accent, "Ya got that right, paaartner." She secured the butt of the rifle against her shoulder and raised the barrel.

"Are you sure you've got the heart for this, Als?" Ashlyn asked. "I mean, you have to shoot widdle duckies."

Ali closed one eye as she lined up her target in the rifle's site and absent-mindedly said, "No problem. I used to shoot squirrels when I was little." There was no reply, so Ali looked up from the gun to find Ashlyn with her mouth open and looking at her like she was nuts. "What?" Ali said defensively. "I went hunting with my dad."

"For squirrels?" Ashlyn asked in disbelief.

"Well, no. I was afraid to hunt anything bigger than that...you know, in case I missed and it got mad."

"How did I not know this about you?" Ashlyn asked while shaking her head in amusement at discovering Ali's inner redneck.

Ali crinkled her nose and giggled while she turned her attention back to her rifle and the ducks. "Just watch and learn, Harris."

It was no contest. Ashlyn hit only two ducks and Ali knocked down every one of her targets. Ali gave the inflatable monkey she won to Ashlyn.

They spent an hour riding the Yo-Yo, the roller coaster, the Ferris wheel and the bumper cars before walking out to the beach. Lori texted to say that Megan refused to leave the park until she got to ride Inkie's Lil' Scrambler and the line was really long. Ashlyn and Ali found a bench to sit on that was big enough to accommodate them both, as well as all of the prizes they carried. Ashlyn put her arm around Ali and savored the closeness. It would be who knew how many months before they could touch again. It was a heartbreaking thought - one that they both staved off a little while longer.

Ashlyn picked up the stuffed turtle she'd won for Ali. "You know sea turtles lay their eggs all along the Florida Coast. My grandma used to let me stay up 'til midnight so she could take me to Cocoa Beach to watch them bury their eggs," Ashlyn explained. "Did you know they come back to the same beach where they were born to lay their eggs?"

Ali shook her head.

"Yeah, they detect variations in the earth's magnetic field and that's how they navigate back."

"That's so cool," said Ali.

"When I was little, I didn't know that's the reason," explained Ashlyn. "We'd go back about a month and a half after the eggs were buried and we'd watch the hatchlings try to make their way to the ocean. I used to be so worried about them...going out into the ocean all alone. It made me feel better to hear her say that they go and have amazing adventures wherever the sea takes them, but they always find their way home."

Just then their friends appeared. "Who finds their way home?" Lori asked.

"Well, it better be us," said Ashlyn. "Dinner's in an hour."

"Okay, but I need to get my sister a souvenir first. Come on, Kriegs," urged Megan who knew Ali liked shopping almost as much as she did.

__________________

The double day and their adventure at the beach left Ali and Ashlyn utterly exhausted. Ashlyn was half asleep before Ali even turned out the light and spooned Ashlyn from behind, She wrapped her arm around Ashlyn who instinctively grabbed Ali's hand and held it to her chest. They quickly slipped into a deep, contented sleep and dreamed of never saying goodbye.

____________________

Ali was the first to wake as usual. Their team responsibilities were finished and they had only the morning together before they would go to the airport for separate flights - Ali's to Virginia for two days before heading back to Germany and Ashlyn to Florida. Normally, she would let Ashlyn sleep, but not that day...not with so little time left. She removed her clothes and reached for one of Ashlyn's prizes from the day before. She then began stroking Ashlyn's hair which caused her friend to stir. Ashlyn's sleepy squint turned into wide, open eyes of surprise when she saw Ali's bare shoulders and the foam hat on her head. She let out a big belly laugh, reached out to remove Ali's hat and leaned over to place a soft kiss on Ali's lips. It quickly led to another kiss and another. Ashlyn wasted no time in discarding her own clothes so they could get closer. Their love making was more urgent than before, perhaps because their imminent separation was foremost in their minds.

Ashlyn ordered room service and was sitting on the bed eating waffles when Ali emerged from the shower and joined her. They talked about when they would see each other next, how Ali would tell her family about them, and about how thankful they were to have made their feelings known to one another. They packed their belongings and shared a cab to the airport.  Ashlyn's flight would depart first, so Ali walked her to the security line where she would have to say goodbye. It was killing them both.

"Call me when you get there," Ali said.

"You, too," Ashlyn answered as she wrapped Ali in a huge hug. They stood there holding each other for a long moment. Ashlyn pulled back ever so slightly, rested her cheek against Ali's, and whispered three words in her ear that she had said so many times before but that now had so much more weight and meaning behind them. "I love you."  She could feel Ali's smile on her cheek.

"Love you more," said Ali.

Ashlyn pulled back all the way. "Okay, it's not a competition, Ali," she teased. Ali chuckled  and gave Ashlyn one more long hug before letting her go. After going through security, Ashlyn looked back once more to see Ali blow her a kiss. She patted the place over her heart and remembered that gesture from their night out which had been the turning point in their relationship.

A little while later, Ashlyn sat in her seat on the plane awaiting take-off when she got a text from Ali.

**Ali: Miss you already!**

**Ash: Me, too! You have no idea.**

**Ali: :(**

**Ash: I was thinking...maybe I can come see you in Germany.**

**Ali: Yes!!!!!**

**Ali: Hey, I got you something. Check your carry-on.**

Ashlyn reached into her backpack to find a white box about the size of a softball.  She opened it and found a small glass bottle with a cork in it. Inside it was filled to the rim with sand. Around the bottle's neck was a silver sea turtle charm tied with raffia. The box itself had sand lining the bottom of it and there was a card. Ashlyn read it:

_For Ashlyn -_

_Trusting the adventure will always lead me back to you, my more-than-enough._

_I love you._

_-A_

**Ali: Ash?**

**Ash: I've never been someone's more-than-enough. :) :) :)**

**Ali: Get used to it! Ich liebe dich!**

**Ash: Gezundheit. ;)**


End file.
